Monday, November 24, 2014


I was scrolling through my old posts and came across this one.  I totally forgot I wrote this ... and I feel the need to share again.  The T1 siblings are heroes ... and certainly should not be forgotten!

One evening in July when we were at the CWD conference, I asked Garren and Cole how they were enjoying their sessions.  I asked questions about how their sessions worked and what they talked about.  They explained to me that often they get separated from the kids with T1 so they can discuss issues specific to being a sibling of a kid with T1.  I continued my probe and asked what kinds of things did the kids bring up.  Cole said a lot of the kids mentioned that their parents spend more time taking care of their T1 brother or sister and less time on them.  hmmm ... interesting 
So I asked Cole, "How do you feel about that?  Do you think we spend more time with Ben?"
Both Garren and Cole replied, "Yes."
I then asked,  "Does that bother you?"
Cole quickly responded, "No!  Because I know that is what you have to do."
Seriously, my boys are pretty awesome!  And I think its time to devote a post to Garren and Cole and let the whole world know (or at least the handful of people who read my blog) how truly great these two T1 siblings really are.
To start, Garren is our oldest.  He has been the light of this family since he was born.  He has a talent for being able to chat as easily with an adult as with a toddler.  I marvel at how self-assured he is.  In social settings I tend to be wallflower, but not Garren!  Within a few minutes he will know the names of everyone in the room and he will even have several new cell phone numbers to text to.
Cole is a thinker.  He never stops asking questions.  When he was young he would pepper me with questions.  He would want to know how the seasons worked, how far was it to China, and why was the sky blue.  Once after a long day of questions I had to tell him I just did not know all the answers!  And Cole, the ever-clever toddler, responds, "Mommy how could that be true, you went to college twice?” To this day he is still asking questions (thankfully, I am no longer his only source for the answers.)
Now to be clear, my boys are not angels.  At times I find myself refereeing their arguments.  I often refer to them as the "bicker brothers."  Believe me, a three-hour car ride to visit their grandmother in Maine can be extremely painful.
But at the same time I know how much they do love each other.  They have proved it to both Jeff and me time and time again.  Since the day we came home from the hospital after Ben was diagnosed these two brothers have been nothing but supportive.  They have made sacrifices without complaint.  They have learned to carb count.  They have taken care of Ben through both highs and lows.  They have even worked to raise money for JDRF in the hope of finding a cure!
I have often been teased that I love Ben the most.  Admittedly, since Ben’s diagnosis Jeff and I have definitely spent more time taking care of Ben and worrying about his diabetes.  We have spent hours and days working on raising money for JDRF.  And I have spent hours writing stories for this blog.  But in no way does that mean I love Ben the most.  How could I when Ben has two of the greatest brothers, Garren and Cole!

Thursday, November 6, 2014


Liability.  We often bump up against this word.  Recently we smashed up against it.

We asked for some help watching over Ben.  We got a, “Hmmmmmm, we need to check with our lawyers first.”
At this point, I know exactly where this is going, and I have already moved on.  But I let this little charade play out, letting the little devil on my shoulder get a tiny bit of satisfaction and a good laugh letting them waste their time, energy and money.  After the lawyer “talk”, we are told, “We can’t help you because it’s too much of a liability.”

I have heard this before, and it makes little sense.  I am not a lawyer, but I did take Law in high school and my teacher spent the whole semester explaining the difference between criminal court and civil court.  The lawyers didn’t say it was against the law to help Ben.  The cops aren’t going to knock down doors, slap on handcuffs and cart anyone off to criminal court.  Liability means suing, and that means a trip to civil court.  What the lawyers are worried about is a trip to civil court and a money settlement.  Now to take this one step further, I ask, “Who exactly would be taking them to civil court?”  There is no T1 mom union out there suing people.  The only logical people who would and could sue them would be Jeff and me!
What they are really saying is, “We can’t help your son because we don’t think it’s worth the risk that YOU will sue us.”

Now that is a bit insulting and offensive, but I am neither.  Because I know sometimes there is a difference between what you say and what you really mean.  And what they really mean is, “We are scared.  We are too scared to help you.”  Now that I get!  Because I am scared too!  And to be honest, if you are too scared to help I would prefer you didn’t.
This is when the little angel on my other shoulder, whispers in my ear and reminds me, when you are knocked down and feel kicked in the gut, these are the moments when you learn who the brave people are.  Because eventually someone will stretch out a helping hand and you get to meet real life heroes.  We have met these people before, our old school nurse (I Believe in Angels), Ben’s friend’s parents (A Sincere Thank You), his hockey coaches (An Ode to SMS Hockey), and they are all a blessing.

So with my little devil chuckling, hoping a nice big lawyer bill lands on someone’s desk and my little angel reminding me real angels do live among us, I shut the door on any more stupid liability talk.
We are doing fine, matter of fact, Ben is doing great!  And we can handle this, with the help of those people that love us and all of those brave real life super heroes!