Date Night ... sans T1 babysitter

Since the hockey season began in August, Jeff and I have been waiting for a free Saturday night, a Saturday night we didn’t have to drive anyone anywhere.  We were hoping to have a proper date night.  And this date night we decided we would not call our T1 babysitter.  This date night we would leave the boys alone and Ben, along with his older brothers, would be responsible for managing his diabetes.  We figured after 4 years the boys should be able to handle it.  This would be as much an exercise in empowering Ben as it would be an exercise in us letting go.

Fast forward to last Saturday night, our first free night.  Jeff made a reservation at a local restaurant (within my 5 mile allowable radius, just in case.) 

This Saturday was also the first day Ben started using his new Dexcom CGM (more about that in my next post.)  Most of the day Ben and I spent watching the lines and arrows on the CGM.  This was good stuff!  At his brother’s baseball game the CGM even alarmed and caught a potential low.  Ben was loving it!

After all our day’s sporting events were over, I fixed dinner for the boys and then got dressed for our own dinner out.  Before Ben ate his dinner he was 120.  The CGM was just about on target.  When it was time for Jeff and I to leave Ben was feeling confident.  He knew what to do, his brothers knew what to do and he had his CGM.  So I said a quick prayer, crossed my fingers, and Jeff and I left the boys alone.

We arrived at the restaurant five minutes later (like I said it was really, really close to the house.)  As we sat down at our table I placed my iPhone on the table.  I know this seems rude (I am certain that’s the waitress thought as she gave me the evil eye), but I am a T1 mom, so too bad.  We then listened to the waitress-with-an-attitude-problem tell us the specials for the night ... pork with apple chutney, a fish I had never heard of before … tweet, tweet, vibrate

I am 57

Deep breathe (and another for good measure.)
Remind myself … we can handle this.

We spent the rest of the evening texting ... through appetizers (mussels, they were delicious), dinner, and Jeff’s chocolate canapés.  As each course was served we questioned, “Should we leave now?”  But we didn’t.  We figured Ben’s next text would say he was back up.  We just needed to wait 15 more minutes.  But once the bill came, we still had not received a text with a BG that was higher than 84.  So we skipped watching the Red Sox game at the bar and raced home.

When we got home, Ben was happily sitting on the sofa watching Minecraft videos.  Ben was fine.  He was still hovering in the 80s.  I checked his shiny new CGM and I had to take a picture.

After I changed (put on my comfy pants) and sat down to watch the Red Sox I finally relaxed … and reflected.  I figured there were 2 possible lessons to take from the evening's events:

1. We are the worst T1 parents on the planet and we should never, ever leave Ben alone again!


2. We did it!  Jeff and I were brave (Yeah us!)  Ben managed his own low like a champ (Yeah Ben!)

I spent the rest of the evening playing mental ping pong, flipping back and forth.  Every time I convinced myself to embrace Option 2, the guilt of Option 1 would slowly creep in.

How could we have been so foolish? 
But Ben is fine, he did great! 
But something really bad could have happened? 
But it didn’t, and if he had his brothers were there to help.

As you can imagine, it was a painful evening for me.  But with time, a week later, I feel more confident that Option 2 is my take away lesson.  So Jeff and I are searching our hockey calendar for another free Saturday night and we are going to try again.  And hopefully this time, we can actually talk to each other about something other than BG numbers and even stay later to watch a game at the bar … Go Red Sox!